Long Distance Relationships

How to make your long distance relationship work?

Now this is a very special topic for me since I am currently in a long distance relationship. I’ve noticed many people struggle to maintain long distance relationships and I never completely understood why. I believe if you truly love someone as an individual, you will easily be able to get through long distance.

Nowadays, young people crave physical affection and companionship so desperately that they are willing to let go of a person just because they do not want to endure long distance. I believe this occurs because of our selfish need for love and attention, this proves that you do not love the person you are in a relationship with, instead, you crave the love they give you and you enjoy the attention they give you. Do not mistake this for love, this is not love.

When you truly love someone and want a future with them, you see them as an individual. You notice their quirks, habits, ambitions and other personality traits that have nothing to do with you or your relationship with them. When you truly fall in love with these characteristics, long distance becomes easy.

How does it become easy? Well, every time you crave their attention or love and are tormented by being apart, you can easily ask yourself, “is this the Man/Woman I want to spend the rest of my life with? Are the qualities this person possesses perfect for a future with me?” If the answer to this question is “Yes” then automatically you tell yourself to be patient and try your best to enjoy every FaceTime call with them, because at the end of the day you do not want to lose such an amazing person just because you cannot physically connect with them that very second. Selfish desires ruin long distance relationships.

—————————

Long distance relationship Tip:

Fights in relationships are inevitable, they are a normal part of growing and getting to know each other. However, fights during a long distance relationship can be hard since after a fight you cannot hug each other or comfort each other. You have to learn to solve things verbally and regain intimacy through FaceTime or call.

I decided to write a paragraph, to myself, about how much I love and appreciate my partner and why they are perfect for me. In this paragraph, I wrote things like

“i know it’s tough to go through this relationship so far apart from each other, but you know how good this man is, he is kind, patient, loving and would make an amazing husband and father. Despite all the fighting, remember this is happening because of distance and the person you fell in love with is still right there. Whenever you feel hopeless read this paragraph and remind yourself of what you would lose if you let go of this wonderful man. Do not be impulsive, and appreciate this loving relationship. It will all be worth it when you are living together and have lots of cute babies.”

Every time we fight I read this paragraph and recenter my mindset, I tell myself that this is not Me VS You, this is Us VS long distance and we will get through this. We will get through anything as long as we have each other.

——————————

This generation is so ungrateful despite having FaceTime, messages and calls, yet we still cannot maintain a long distance relationship. Temptation and our selfish desires ruin long distance relationships, we need to learn to be patient and nurture good relationships. Look at long distance as a beautiful dance, where you and your partner create deep intimacy based on conversations rather than dependency on physical companionship. It is all about your mindset and your strength to nurture a beautiful relationship in the absence of physical intimacy for a duration of time.

Back in the old days, people maintained long distance relationships using letters. Why can’t modern love be that strong, passionate and patient? Why is our generation so selfish and weak when it comes to relationships? Lets change that and romanticise successful and happy long distance relationships, rather than putting them down. Let us change our mindset.

If you are in a long distance relationship and you are struggling, send this blog post to your partner. You never know it might enlighten them to view long distance relationships through a different lens.